So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
