They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
