He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
