I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
