So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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