i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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