i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
