Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
