sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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