He disabled his match.com account in front of me
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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