singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
