I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Holy sore nipples Batman
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
