Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
