I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
