Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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