Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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