There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
