belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
