They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
