I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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