The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Randomize
