u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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