my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
