your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
