Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
