what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize