3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
There r osticjed everywhere
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
