Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
