Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
