I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I think I sprained my soul last night
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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