i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Who died my cat blue again?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
