And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
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