She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize