did you get engaged???
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
