Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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