Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
