it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
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