You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It's blow job season.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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