the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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