I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Liz is crying about burritos again.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
