You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
