Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
