I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
