Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
