my phone cant type all the emotion im having
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
