i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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