I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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