I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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