I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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