Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I would fuck him just for his dog
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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