i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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