Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
