How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
