Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
