I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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