You can't motorboat a personality
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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