you're like a bully in the Christmas story
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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