this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
accomplished twins. life is a go
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
