I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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