Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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