Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
