and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
