I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
