dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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